Insomnia

Insomnia.

You never understand it, until you've actually lived it.
It's strange, really.
The day goes by.
Long.
Boring.
Home.
But once night falls,
your day just begins.

Why am I awake right now?
Why am I not at rest?
Why here?
Why now?
The answers are not needed.
The answers are not wanted.

"It's 11:49."
Wake up call.
The radio is down to a minimum,
to keep the mother of the house hold in deep sleep.

It could be worse.
It could be better.
I had never imagined to be left like this.
Alone, it feels.
Music rocks on the radio.
Keeps me going.
It doesn't matter what's playing.
As long as I know that I'm still here.

The bed isn't made.
The house is resting.
The feline at the end of the bed shifts to a more comfortable position.
Company.

The song changes.
I know this one.
I can't give you a name.
I can't give you an artist.
I just know it.

Fireworks.
I open the window.
Listen.
I hear a couple bursts down the street.
I want to go.
I might know the people attending at this event.
They might know me.
I want to join in on that faint conversation.
Pressing my head up into the screen,
I hear laughter.
I like to laugh.

The song changes again.
This artist I know.
I change my position.
Legs covered by the sheets on the bed.
The cat opens her eyes, to see what the commotion was about.
She gets up, and slowly walks over to the sweater.
Resting next to me.
The other bed.

Change of the song.
I know the title.
The artist?
A mystery.

I laugh.
At myself.
What am I doing?
Writing?
About sleepless nights?
Odd occurrences around the room?
But why?
Is this my cure?
What is it I desire?
What am I lacking?
Why can't I sleep?

And yes I've dreamt of you too.
The only line I hear.
That's it.
Now I know.
The answers that I wish not to find,
I have just found.